Welcome to Overheard, Dark Fiend Sanctuary's quoteboard for quotes taken hilariously out of context. (Or in context. We don't care, so long as they amuse us.)
Order by:
Quotes 1 to 57 of 57
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"I'm a self-proclaimed happy man."
--Dwayne, happy, 7/14/2006
"Alright, time to inflict some pain on the greeks."
--Ryan, on inflicting pain, 6/5/2006
"It's fun to be dead!"
--Yang, on being dead, 5/29/2006
"Time to put the Japanese out of their misery."
--Ryan, on mercy killing, 5/28/2006
"You have
Frostling, I have
Bile Urchin."
--Justin, on Magic: The Gathering, 3/28/2006
"Together, we are
Mogg Fanatic!"
--me, on Magic: The Gathering, 3/28/2006
"I have a photographic memory, but the photos always develop really blurry."
--Unknown, on bad cameras, Classic Era
"What? Did you say she's exothermic?"
--Unknown, on hot chicks, Classic Era
"See, you need an uglier tutor so you can remember calculus."
--Justin, on tutoring, Classic Era
"Oh, you're playing Snake on your cell phone? I thought that number was kinda long."
--Justin, on long phone numbers, Classic Era
"He wants to tighten her with the screw."
--Babelfish translator, pimpin' it, Classic Era
"Them hatred! Them hatred all! Particularly those who hates it!"
--Babelfish translator, nonsense, Classic Era
"Ask not what you can do for your country but what your country can do for you."
--Justin, on patriotism, Classic Era
"Life is like Uncle Worm: We keep trying to get more stuff, but it doesn't matter because we just die."
--Unknown, on Uncle Worm, Classic Era
"What's the point of being Asian if you can't eat rice?"
--Justin, on Sarah, Classic Era
"I fell asleep reading
The Awakening."
--Dwayne, on classic literature, Classic Era
"Mark Twain is going to shoot you."
--Dwayne, on Mark Twain, Classic Era
"If you get run over, I'll kill you."
--Justin, on traffic, Classic Era
"It happened a long time ago! It happened about three days ago! It didn't happen that long ago!"
--Albert Yeh, on time, Classic Era
"Walk for AIDS? I don't want AIDS."
--Dwayne, on AIDS, Classic Era
"He's not in the game, but his pants are."
--Alan, on pants, Classic Era
"Hello Kitty with chicken pox."
--Angela, on pancakes, 2/26/2006
"This is what the Resurrect button is for."
--Paul, on resurrection, 2/26/2006
"Your face tastes kinda weird."
--Shuo, on food, 2/24/2006
"I need to erase the Theory of Relativity."
--HKN tutor, on theories, 2/23/2006
"Ew! My reflection looks just like me."
--Unknown, reflecting on her reflection, Unknown
"I'm so wasted."
--Kara, on drugs, Unknown
"Not Cal Dining, Cal MAIL!"
--Dwayne, on auto-complete, Fall 2005
"You just turned everyone into Paul Monasterio!"
--Dwayne, on bugs, December 4, 2005
"My grandfather was a chinese actor and expert in kung fu who popularised the martial arts in the shower waiting for the last decade."
--Cute Elf Alice Zeng, nonsense, Fall 2005
"To get a game recap, Type the menu item number located next to one of the alimentary canal."
--Cute Elf Alice Zeng, nonsense, Fall 2005
"But to me you might as well as the total number of votes each answer received."
--Cute Elf Alice Zeng, nonsense, Fall 2005
"I'm rediscovering my love of pot :D"
--Lei, on her Xanga, Fall 2005
"We all want to eat Tampax."
--Little Vivian, taken very much out of context, November 24, 2005
"That's not an insurance company. That's a park."
--David S, Unknown, Fall 2005
"Sorry I'm late. I was eating nachos."
--Dwayne, on the NACHOS Operating System, October 21, 2005
"They have to learn how people get murdered."
--Prof Russell, on detectives, Fall 2005
"I'm over here!"
--Prof Russell, on the importance of context, Fall 2005
"That's not pornography anymore."
--Prof Jordan, on greedy algorithms, Fall 2005
"This isn't softcore porn with arcs."
--Prof O'Brien, on the Kissing Problem, Spring 2005
"Of course, it's rare that people will come in the middle of the night and change your circuit."
--Prof Boser, on changing parameters, Fall 2004
"He created the most beautiful circuits. He was like Mozart, except for circuits."
--Prof Boser, on a talented circuit designer, Fall 2004
"The book uses capital V and lower-case 2, but I don't know how to make a lower-case 2."
--Prof Boser, on lower-case 2's, Fall 2004
"Let me wipe this or else my colleagues will think I'm crazy."
--Prof Boser, on 1 pOhm, Fall 2004
"There's nothing terrible about that. Even mathematicians can do it. You don't have to be an engineer."
--Prof Boser, on easy problems, Fall 2004
"I make a capacitor and it has 1 nF today and tomorrow and for all time, right? ...until it fails..."
--Prof Boser, on time-invariance, Fall 2004
"Kim is easily amused today."
--Kim, on Kim, October 21, 2004
"Holy shit! I have negative one of
nothing!"
--Dwayne, on bugs, August 13, 2004
"[Little] Vivian! You left your pants downstairs!"
--Dwayne, on pants, May 30, 2004
"The purpose of New Projects is to do new projects."
--Robert Hennessy, on New Projects, Spring 2004
"He was framed for a murder he never committed!"
--Unknown, as opposed to being framed for a murder he
did commit, January 11, 2004
"Some of us are older than we are."
--Dwayne, on age, December 26, 2003
"One years ago, Mary was one years older than Mary was one years ago."
--Prof Hilfinger's program, nonsense, December 15, 2003
"Could you please tell your Away Message to
shut the fuck up?!?"
--Dwayne, on away messages, December 14, 2003
"I'm not sure whether she's straight or lesbian on the basis of what the hell is that?"
--Neil the Fencer, interrupting himself, October 30, 2003
"It looks more like a deformed Pac-man."
--Dwayne, on poorly drawn circles, October 18, 2003
"nope she [my mother] said I am a smart little girl!"
--god, in Dwayne's old guestbook, Unknown
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A little bit of history: back when Dwayne was at Leland High School, the school newspaper (the Charger Account) had a section called "Overheard", which listed several quotes that were obviously taken out of context. However, after the old teacher retired, the Overheard section was cut out from the Charger Account. We were outraged. This quoteboard is in memory of the Charger Account Overheard section.
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